Epilogue 044 - Angelyne's Midnite Movie Mausoleum

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...Previously...



"Well, that was a scary one, wasn't it? I hope all of you out there in TV Land have a few wits left, because that was only part one of tonight's double feature. Our next film is considered one of Burt Chase's lesser works, but like my tailor always says, you can't blame a guy for trying! Burt Chase of Crazy Psychiatrist fame wrote, directed, and starred in this sequel, which was criticized as being 'too artsy.' Go fig. Curl up and try not to die on the couch for Crazy Psychiatrist 2: Shoot That Bitch, Shoot Her Good! But first a word from our sponsors. Don't go anywhere!"

Angelyne, the Midnite Mistress, gave the camera a wink as the screen faded out. An ad for Cal's Zombie Ranch blared onto the overhead monitor in the green room.

"Ugh. Shelley, mute that racket, would you?"

Shelley gladly obliged, as the Cal's Zombie Ranch jingle had played during every break. Sometimes twice.

"You know," Winifred said, only making eye contact with the modest cheese and cracker plates, "I am happy for our friend Angela."

"Me too," Shelley said dubiously. Winifred Pale wasn't normally one for small talk, especially not with her.

"But..."

Shelley rolled her eyes for neither the first nor the last time of the night.

"She wields all this power, all this influence," Winifred continued, "and merely uses it to show B-movies. Do you know how she got this show? She walked in. Just sauntered right into the building, and BAM! Now she's the star of the highest-rated program in its time slot. Sure, the building is just Underborough Cable Access, and sure, the time slot is midnight to two a.m. on Saturdays. But every week, these airwaves are hers."

"What's your point?"

"Obviously, she means for these airwaves to be ours. Hers and mine, of course. And I suppose you may have some since she invited you."

"Winifred, she invited us to do a walk-on during a segment--"

"--For my world takeover platform to gain support, yes I know! This station broadcasts to the affected areas of the human world. Most of the simpletons who haven't been converted to monsters would be easily swayed by a pretty face, especially if that face is standing next to Angela's new, uh... features."

"Winifred, please promise me you'll just stick to the cue cards," Shelley moaned.

"Oh, look! She's back on!" Winifred deflected, reaching for the remote.

"--n't forget, we're still accpeting entries for the first-ever Inter-Dimensional Film Festival! Underborough and Pendleton residents, break out the foam latex and Karo syrup! Just remember to ask your parents first, okay? Now prepare yourselves for Crazy Psychiatrist... TWOOO!"