Winifred and the Headphones of Mixing

Commission for

The hour was early enough that not a soul was stirring in all of Pale Manor. Angela silently waved Shelley up the long staircase to Winifred's chambers.

"Are you sure this is okay? This seems incredibly sketchy," Shelley whispered, clutching the Headphones of Mixing.

"You wanted a subject for your experiment, didn't you?" Angela asked slyly.

"I wanted a volunteer," Shelley answered, stressing her point as strongly as possible without creating an echo.

"And I promise I'll help with the next one, but I want to see how this thing works for myself. You said the effects wear off after a few hours, right?"

"Correct. But still, sneaking into Winifred's room while she's asleep? I mean..." Shelley's voice trailed off into a nervous, extended groan.

"Shelley, this is far from the worst thing anyone's ever done to a sleeping vampire. Besides, I think I owe her this much for all the headaches she's caused me."

Angela slowly opened the large mahogany door to Winifred's bedroom. In the center of the far wall, a well-polished casket sat between two dark red, velvet curtains. Visible from the open lid was Winifred Pale, sleeping soundly in a full-length silk nightgown and matching robe. Shelley handed Angela the Headphones of Mixing. Angela gently placed them over Winifred's ears and tiptoed across the room to Winifred's writing desk.

"Okay, they're on," Angela giggled. "That's all I have to do, right?"

"Angela, please be scientific about this, if only to assuage my guilt," Shelley said, rubbing her temples. "Yes, once on the user's ears," Shelley made a show of putting air quotes around user, "the headphones will begin searching for various genres and eras of music. Though we won't hear the results, they will become quite apparent on Ms. Pale... and would you please stop rubbing your palms together?"

The crystals and bulbs the lined the casing of the headphones began to glow. Winifred tossed and turned as the headphones began their staticky search. The speaker in her left ear stopped first, piping in the quiet sounds of harps and violins. Involuntarily, her arms rose daintily from her casket. Hoisting herself out, she began to glide gracefully across the floor on the tips of her toes, still half asleep. Angela and Shelley watched in amazement as the hem of Winifred's nightgown began to rise and point outward, becoming more lacy yet more rigid all at once. Her exposed legs were becoming visibly with each choreographed step. The small bows of her bedroom slippers lengthened and crisscrossed around her calves. Her entire body was growing tall and slender, like a dancer's. Suddenly, the crystals on the right headphone began to flash.

Shelley was having difficulty remaining objective. "Okay, Angela," she whispered with excitement. "Here's where it gets really interesting!"

Winifred's eyes shot open as her right ear was filled with a plodding bassline and a steady but heavy 4/4 drum beat. Though it melded perfectly with the existing tune, the change was jarring nonetheless. A look of confusion fell over Winifred's face as she continued to dance. Her moves were becoming much more aggressive and energetic, her kicks and twirls now peppered with fist pumps. Her nightgown-turned-tutu changed even further as the delicate fabric turned to rough denim. The top half of her gown had seperated into a sleeveless hoodie. Her silken robe grew thicker, hanging loosely from her arms as a puffy down jacket. And that wasn't the only thing growing thicker. Though she retained her ballerina waist, her chest and thighs widened considerably.
 
Angela poked out from behind the desk with a dopey grin frozen on her face. Winifred, still dancing a bizarre en pointe Running Man, whipped her head around, revealing a hat with the name Winny-P embroidered in gold. Angela couldn't take it anymore. She hit the floor laughing hard enough to rattle the windows.

"Yo," Winifred exclaimed without a hint of irony. "The hell is so damn funny?"

The headphone-enhanced sound of Winifred's voice only made Angela laugh even harder. "HAHAHAHA! Ohh no no no! Sh-Shelley, you didn't tell me it'd give her an urban patois! That's not fair! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Winifred wasn't sure what horrified her more: the intrusion, the unwarranted transformation, or the presence of Shelley Debunkle in her home. She decided on the latter. "Oh HELL no! What's dat nurd doing in my house?"

"I can explain everything, Winny-P," Shelley said, letting the word nerd roll of her back. "And for what it's worth, I think you look pretty cool."